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WHO AM I
My name is Frida Bender and I´m 40 years old.
I live with my partner and our three children in a white house just by the ocean.
About 11 years ago I started listening to my body and it´s signals. Primarily it was linked to my first pregnancy, when I was willing to try just about anything to avoid feeling nausea.
It didn´t happen very often or regularly to start with, but over the years it´s evolved to the place where I´m at today.
An ever changing place, which really blossomed about a year ago.
That was when I decided to start telling people about what I´m doing and how I´m thinking to be able to eat everything that I desire, every day, and still be more happy and satisfied in and with my body, as I´ve ever been.
This made me aware of, in a whole other way, my constant dialogue that I´m having with my body and that led to an even greater and clearer connection to my feelings and the signals it´s emitting.
This brings me appreciation and value to the process in an awesome and tremendous way today.
Because, even though 11 years is a long time, I´ve spent almost 20 years before that, living in a completely opposite way.
Back then, my main goal was to follow every restriction there was and all of the accurate diets, doing my best to block my feelings and my inner voice.
Diets, restrictions, rules, you name it, I´ve tried them all.
I´ve starved myself and binged from time to time,
I´ve been super skinny, really overweight and everything in between.
For a couple of years my relationship to food was really distorted and my weight went up and down like a jojo, but I´ve also lived pretty "normal" with a normal weight for several years.
Regardless of my current weight, I never reached a pleasing place though. My own value continued to be an effect of my capability to eat "right" and stay thin enough.
I know exactly just how exhausting it is to devote all your time and energy to food, all kinds of do´s and don´ts and also how it can effect your self-esteem when you´re feeling out of control.
The lack of control combined with outside influences about the damage of, close to everything there is to eat and the constant reminder of how you can and should lose weight, it´s no wonder you lose hope and feel lost from time to time.
But, that can all change starting now.
I can understand how this seems completely outrageous. I mean, we all know that if you eat wrong kind of food and more than you get rid of, you gain weight.
How ever, it´s a fact that I´ve lived in both worlds and it´s a fact that my current weight is the same as when I was starving myself the most.
Back then, by eating as little as I could and now by eating what ever I want, when ever I want it and how much I want and the only thing that I´ve changed is my approach to food.
Whether I eat a little or a lot, whether I eat day or night and what ever I choose to eat, just by listening to my body and my feelings, I´ve found my personal ideal body and weight. Which also has remained the same for the past 11 years, except for three pregnancies.
There of my utter conviction, that it has nothing to do with the food you´re eating or if you´re exercising or not, it has only to do with your thoughts and your emotions connected to food and your body.